Serious question re: lady. Advice needed.

[prof_porn]

No jokes, no silly answers please.

Basically, I adore my old boss. She is pretty much the same age as me (I am a year older), but she was my boss. I need her for references etc. We get on ok, sorta friends, but not 'close friends'.

There's the odd call, how are you?, type call.

Anyway, I adore her. She's smart, beautiful funny. I just want to tell her I want to be more then friends, to be a couple. If I say that, she may take offence/dislike the approach and then I'd **** up my references etc, which I need to be good.

HELP!

 

[Jagger69]

Don't shit in your own nest. I'd keep it professional unless she gives you some kind of indication she has a mutual interest in you. Otherwise, let it go.

 

[Hot Mega]

Either find a woman just like her to go after or find a new job then tell her how you feel.

 

[dogbone27]

Dude, just ask her out on a date or to lunch, it's that simple..

 

[BlueBalls]

Ask for the reference. Then once she has given it to you ask her out.

:hatsoff:

 

[bodie54]

I think you're overworrying this. There are ways you could communicate that where the chances of her being offended would be very slim.

Short of that, if you haven't ever socialized with her before You Might want to casually ask her if she'd like to meet sometime for lunch or coffee. Once you've got her out in that kind of environment you'll probably be better able to judge whether she'd be amenable to anything more.

 

[biomech]

Ask for the reference. Then once she has given it to you ask her out.

:hatsoff:

I agree, reference, then go for it. What do you have to lose at that point.

 

[mongo18]

Next time there's one of these casual "how are you" calls, ask her out for a lunch or drink, it's a low pressure offer that gives her an easy out if she wants it. Unless she's particularly dense or self absorbed she should know your motives, so if she says yes you've got a foot in the door.

 

[Hot Mega]

Ask for the reference. Then once she has given it to you ask her out.

How is that supposed to work? Asking for a professional reference from a boss usually means it's for future employment.

If it's not a recommendation letter then it's usually in the form of, "May I use you as a ref?" "Yes you may." Or "No you may not." Then going forward you list their name, organization (if applicable) and contact info on new employment apps.

In that context, I'm not sure how that approach is suppose to work at all unless you successfully secure her as a reference, acquire a new job as a result, then ask her out.

Simply getting her to agree to being a professional ref won't solve the problem since she will still be getting contacted by your prospective employers until you get a new job.

 

[Skyraider22]

Don't shit in your own nest. I'd keep it professional unless she gives you some kind of indication she has a mutual interest in you. Otherwise, let it go.

You can't go wrong with what Jagger69 said you have a good job a great boss just keep it professional and if she feels the same go for the home run and ask her out.:thumbsup:

 

[gunslingingbird]

Invite her to lunch. Don't come off as too aggressive, otherwise she'll get freaked out. Take it easy and don't overpursue her. Basically, get to be her close friend. Then go from there. :hatsoff:


You could also have her stop in for a visit. We'll be sure give her good references.

 

[afkallthetiem]

I say stick it in her ass and see if she likes it, don't even mention it just go woop see if she's into that. HTH

 

[BlueBalls]

How is that supposed to work? Asking for a professional reference from a boss usually means it's for future employment.

If it's not a recommendation letter then it's usually in the form of, "May I use you as a ref?" "Yes you may." Or "No you may not." Then going forward you list their name, organization (if applicable) and contact info on new employment apps.

In that context, I'm not sure how that approach is suppose to work at all unless you successfully secure her as a reference, acquire a new job as a result, then ask her out.

Simply getting her to agree to being a professional ref won't solve the problem since she will still be getting contacted by your prospective employers until you get a new job.

Seems someone didnt get the joke. You cant win 'em all :hatsoff:

 

[Baill Inneraora]

Seems someone didnt get the joke. You cant win 'em all :hatsoff:

I got it! I got the joke! :nanner:

 

[biomech]

So any luck either way?

 

[prof_porn]

Was scheduled to meet for coffee-but plans changed.

Hope to see her this week. I really like this girl, first girl I think it may be more then wanting to get my tool polished.

 

[tiger1977]

Don't shit in your own nest. I'd keep it professional unless she gives you some kind of indication she has a mutual interest in you. Otherwise, let it go.

Exactly.

 

[BlueBalls]

I got it! I got the joke! :nanner:

Well, if there is only one then I'm glad it's you Baill

 

[Hot Mega]

Seems someone didnt get the joke. You cant win 'em all :hatsoff:

:crying:

 

[biomech]

Was scheduled to meet for coffee-but plans changed.

Hope to see her this week. I really like this girl, first girl I think it may be more then wanting to get my tool polished.

Good for you, hope everything works out. :thumbsup: