Ok, in my case my girlfriend did not cheat in the conventional sense.
She developped a fling for some moron manipulator. We are both very busy, I have two jobs and school, she has one job and full time school.
Recently, I'd noticed that maybe we were driffting a little bit apart and I wanted to take the time off from the holidays to talk about it, spend some cool quality time together and work it out, because I love her to death and if there had to be changes on anyone's part I wanted to make sure to make those changes because I don't want t lose her. Well about one week 1/2 ago she went to this school party to celebrate with her classmates. At midnight she called this guy and went to his house. She got home at 5am.
I stayed up until 3am waiting for her really nervous and super worried. She doesn't have a cellphone and I didn't have the number to reach her at. I even gave her money so she could grab a cab.
Anyhow, the next morning she woke me up to tell me. I freaked, I lost it. I felt super betrayed. She said she did not kiss him fuck him or anything like that. They talked about their feelings for each other and how weird that was.
She said I didn't deserve that and she came back home.
I spent the holidays completely alone. I was in no mood to go see my ****** and bring everyone down. I also didn't go to her parents' place eventhough they still invited me and told me to hang in there.
Tonight she called me to tell me she missed me a lot and might come back home tomorrow. I asked her if she had thought about the situation and if she would focus on us. All last week I pleaded to her to stay and work things out.
I could have said fuck you I deserve MUCH better than this but I don't want to push her away. She said she's thinking of moving to her folks' place for a few months to think things through. Folks in your opinion should I go along for this **** ride? I've been there before and in my opinion if she leaves I think it's the beginning of the end. I don't eat or ***** anymore. I'm not productive at work either. So anyhow tonight she said if the problem was just her and I it would be easier to focus, I asked her if he's still on her mind, she said yeah and doesn't understand because she doesn't know him, not physically attracted to him and said she loves me to death. I'm so confused right now. I even said to her, be clear Babe, if you want to pursue thins fling with this guy go for it but you will lose me forever, it's your loss.
Then she said she never wants to lose me. I said I simply cannot just be friends.
I need serious opinions on this. I know what I did on my part for losing her a bit, I got boring and we never saw each other but if she's thinking of another guy I think I've already lost. Every moment I'm home I can't wait to see her, I miss her terribly but I won't tell her that. I'm taking a step back and trying to be cool. She said no one would ever do what I'm doing for her, she calls me a jewel, a pearl (she's the pearl IMO). I then said what happens if you pursue this with this dickhead and then you do the same to him? I mean Goddamnit don't I deserve a better opportunity and chance at making this work? She says I'm the most intelligent person she's ever known, I make her laugh like no one and she sees evrything I'm doing as a positive. Also, all of her friends and ****** all have different opinions on it so that doesn't help. Tonight she even said every time we speak it helps her put things in perspective. In no way do I want to trick her into staying with me, I will not and cannot manipulate her. I respect and love her.
I'm fucked.
Awaiting help here.
Thanks everyone. LadyLove I think I need your help here.\
MM
This was last night.
I've been up for 26 hours. I can't ***** or eat.
My confidence is super low.
She's at her ***'s and I phoned her telling her I need to speak with her in person. I said I'm about to make a huge decision and I need to see before making that decision.
Last night I wrote her a letter explaining how I felt, with the intention of asking her to stay with me while we figure it out. I'm at a point where I cannot function. I spent the holidays completely alone and I simply can't do this any longer. I will ask her to read the letter and then I'm afraid to but I feel I have no choice but to give her the ultimatum. It has been almost 2 weeks since this has begun and I need closure.
A huge part of me says stay cool, give her all the space and time she needs. Another part of me says time never fixed anything, it's what you do with that time that counts. She's even willing to get a new job so to not see this guy anymore and I really appreciate that, but if she decides to move out for a period of three months then I don't see how we could fix this.
Should I do what I don't want to do to get closure or do I just stay cool and again take a risk of losing her. I understand the set them free and if it was meant to be thing. I do. But I'm freaking out as my life took a turn for shambles.
Help please.
MM
She developped a fling for some moron manipulator. We are both very busy, I have two jobs and school, she has one job and full time school.
Recently, I'd noticed that maybe we were driffting a little bit apart and I wanted to take the time off from the holidays to talk about it, spend some cool quality time together and work it out, because I love her to death and if there had to be changes on anyone's part I wanted to make sure to make those changes because I don't want t lose her. Well about one week 1/2 ago she went to this school party to celebrate with her classmates. At midnight she called this guy and went to his house. She got home at 5am.
I stayed up until 3am waiting for her really nervous and super worried. She doesn't have a cellphone and I didn't have the number to reach her at. I even gave her money so she could grab a cab.
Anyhow, the next morning she woke me up to tell me. I freaked, I lost it. I felt super betrayed. She said she did not kiss him fuck him or anything like that. They talked about their feelings for each other and how weird that was.
She said I didn't deserve that and she came back home.
I spent the holidays completely alone. I was in no mood to go see my ****** and bring everyone down. I also didn't go to her parents' place eventhough they still invited me and told me to hang in there.
Tonight she called me to tell me she missed me a lot and might come back home tomorrow. I asked her if she had thought about the situation and if she would focus on us. All last week I pleaded to her to stay and work things out.
I could have said fuck you I deserve MUCH better than this but I don't want to push her away. She said she's thinking of moving to her folks' place for a few months to think things through. Folks in your opinion should I go along for this **** ride? I've been there before and in my opinion if she leaves I think it's the beginning of the end. I don't eat or ***** anymore. I'm not productive at work either. So anyhow tonight she said if the problem was just her and I it would be easier to focus, I asked her if he's still on her mind, she said yeah and doesn't understand because she doesn't know him, not physically attracted to him and said she loves me to death. I'm so confused right now. I even said to her, be clear Babe, if you want to pursue thins fling with this guy go for it but you will lose me forever, it's your loss.
Then she said she never wants to lose me. I said I simply cannot just be friends.
I need serious opinions on this. I know what I did on my part for losing her a bit, I got boring and we never saw each other but if she's thinking of another guy I think I've already lost. Every moment I'm home I can't wait to see her, I miss her terribly but I won't tell her that. I'm taking a step back and trying to be cool. She said no one would ever do what I'm doing for her, she calls me a jewel, a pearl (she's the pearl IMO). I then said what happens if you pursue this with this dickhead and then you do the same to him? I mean Goddamnit don't I deserve a better opportunity and chance at making this work? She says I'm the most intelligent person she's ever known, I make her laugh like no one and she sees evrything I'm doing as a positive. Also, all of her friends and ****** all have different opinions on it so that doesn't help. Tonight she even said every time we speak it helps her put things in perspective. In no way do I want to trick her into staying with me, I will not and cannot manipulate her. I respect and love her.
I'm fucked.
Awaiting help here.
Thanks everyone. LadyLove I think I need your help here.\
MM
This was last night.
I've been up for 26 hours. I can't ***** or eat.
My confidence is super low.
She's at her ***'s and I phoned her telling her I need to speak with her in person. I said I'm about to make a huge decision and I need to see before making that decision.
Last night I wrote her a letter explaining how I felt, with the intention of asking her to stay with me while we figure it out. I'm at a point where I cannot function. I spent the holidays completely alone and I simply can't do this any longer. I will ask her to read the letter and then I'm afraid to but I feel I have no choice but to give her the ultimatum. It has been almost 2 weeks since this has begun and I need closure.
A huge part of me says stay cool, give her all the space and time she needs. Another part of me says time never fixed anything, it's what you do with that time that counts. She's even willing to get a new job so to not see this guy anymore and I really appreciate that, but if she decides to move out for a period of three months then I don't see how we could fix this.
Should I do what I don't want to do to get closure or do I just stay cool and again take a risk of losing her. I understand the set them free and if it was meant to be thing. I do. But I'm freaking out as my life took a turn for shambles.
Help please.
MM
