I've never had "Make-Up" Sex, even though I've been married for a decade now. I've had close to it once (more on that below), but I didn't like it. It's just too emotional. I won't make love to my wife unless I love her. I won't make it when I feel bad. I don't like to trade one emotional roller-coaster for another. Way too much of a swing.
Am I weird?
The only time I came close is when my wife and I made up. Then we held each other for 4 hours afterwards. I felt bad and she felt bad and that's why we held one another as we talked. Eventually, at some point, my wife started to kiss me very deeply. I resisted at first. The fact that I enjoyed it bothered me. When she started petting, I had to pull away. She said very sweetly that she just needed it really bad. I finally gave in after another 60 minutes of holding, but I felt awful afterwards.
When I asked her if we just had "Make-up" Sex, she said no, but it was much closer than anything before.
She did tell me that she'd wish I'd have "Make-up" Sex, but respected the fact that I can't handle it emotionally. She noticed this about me. I told her I always had a problem when people told me about arguing then dropping into passion -- seemed artificial and not healthy, and made their emotions the basis for anger, which was dangerous. She agreed, but she said the fact that some people get angry is because they care so much for each other. She said I should give into it every now and then.
We haven't since that time we talked a few years ago, and we never did in the years prior. If we have an argument, it's literally days before we make love again -- and that's at least a day or two after we make up. Even if it's a simple argument and we make up a few hours later, I won't make love to her that day. It's how I've always been. And she's never bothered me about it since that one time. She knows how much it bothers me.
Then again, she says she likes the fact that I'm never too emotional and calculating in how I approach things (like the fact that I never *****). At the same time, it doesn't take a deep emotional swing for me to be spontaneous with her.
Again, is there something wrong with me?
Am I weird?
The only time I came close is when my wife and I made up. Then we held each other for 4 hours afterwards. I felt bad and she felt bad and that's why we held one another as we talked. Eventually, at some point, my wife started to kiss me very deeply. I resisted at first. The fact that I enjoyed it bothered me. When she started petting, I had to pull away. She said very sweetly that she just needed it really bad. I finally gave in after another 60 minutes of holding, but I felt awful afterwards.
When I asked her if we just had "Make-up" Sex, she said no, but it was much closer than anything before.
She did tell me that she'd wish I'd have "Make-up" Sex, but respected the fact that I can't handle it emotionally. She noticed this about me. I told her I always had a problem when people told me about arguing then dropping into passion -- seemed artificial and not healthy, and made their emotions the basis for anger, which was dangerous. She agreed, but she said the fact that some people get angry is because they care so much for each other. She said I should give into it every now and then.
We haven't since that time we talked a few years ago, and we never did in the years prior. If we have an argument, it's literally days before we make love again -- and that's at least a day or two after we make up. Even if it's a simple argument and we make up a few hours later, I won't make love to her that day. It's how I've always been. And she's never bothered me about it since that one time. She knows how much it bothers me.
Then again, she says she likes the fact that I'm never too emotional and calculating in how I approach things (like the fact that I never *****). At the same time, it doesn't take a deep emotional swing for me to be spontaneous with her.
Again, is there something wrong with me?
