Knock • Knock, who's there ? H R 1388

[Facetious]

GIVE Act
To reauthorize and reform the national service laws.
current 111st session of congress
OpenCongress Summary:
The Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education (GIVE) Act would dramatically increase funding for AmeriCorps, with a goal of expanding from 75,000 volunteers to 250,000. The bill also would increase education funding and establish a summer service program for students, paying $500 (which would be applied to college costs) to high-school and middle-school student who participate.

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"National Service" Premium Link Upgrade Damn ! I shouda known never to open the door for those student canvassers !!!!

Ding - Dong . . . .

"Hey, dude, I'm with Premium Link Upgrade and we'd like to come in and . . . .. well, maybe look around ? Is that OK ?
D . . . do ya have any guns is the first question that they want me to ask each resident. Is the firearm locked up so that it cannot be used against any potential - would be intruders ? All magazines are unloaded and ammo is locked up separately in the certified americorp ammo lockbox in an area no closer than 50 feet from your certified gunlocker ? Wait just a minute ! There isn't a 50 foot measurable length in this studio apartment !''
''Says here that you're in *********, sir ! Police (the real kind) are on there way, sir."

''Are there any juveniles living here, sir ? Who's pants are these, sir ? they appear to be those of an adolescent girl, sir ! No, I don't care if the ******'s washing machine took a crap and she dropped off your ********'s laundry to do, sir ! So how many times HAVE you ******** your ********, sir and when exactly did you stop ********* her, SIR ? !''

''Where is your water heater, sir ? Do you have earthquake straps and a thermal blanket on your water heater ? Oh, that's right, I forgot, you are a renter, sorry.''

''May we swab your gums for our DNA databank ? NO ? Why ? what exactly are you hiding, sir ?''

''May we scrape a paint sample off of your landlord's wall to verify that the paint is lead and asbestos safe - environmentally friendly.''

''Do you have a low flow toilet, sir ?"

"I don't care how many times that you have to flush it after you take a ****, wasting even more water than non low flow toilets, sir ! Whatever it says on the paperwork, we have to do sir ! No, you may not, under any circumstances appeal, whether or not you're right or wrong !
For we are here to SERVE"

:updown: :updown: :updown:​

Be On the Lookout or BOL is the acronym that I would like for 'yall to consider during the obama presidency. :laugh::eek:
ø *"No Green Colored Denim Wearing Punks Allowed on Premises !" ø