I've Fallen For My Neighbor

Violator79

Take a Hit, Spunker!
OK, I've been holding off on this for a while, but the time has come for everyone's advice:

About 6 months ago, I got a new neighbor and let me say she's absolutely beautiful. At first we just casually talked and that was the extent of it. But lately, I've found myself totally falling for her. There's only one little problem: she has a boyfriend. But let me tell you about him: he's unemployed, on probation, her whole family hates him and he is an asshole in the truest form. He does nothing but sleeps 23 1/2 out of 24 hours a day, bitches and argues with her over the smallest things and from I've heard, since the walls are thin, he can't even fuck her right and sure as hell doesn't make love to her like a real man should.

Now before you say it, I know I shouldn't get involved with their business and for the most part I don't. I DO, however, treat her better than he ever could. I've bought her a Steelers Super Bowl shirt and a couple days later I heard him say to her "burn it." She didn't do it. She said she'd pay me back but I told her she owes me NOTHING for it. I've made sure she was alright one night after he made her cry so hard I was seeing red. The kicker is, earlier tonight after I got home from work, I could tell they were fucked up, as in high as a kite. They had to go somewhere and I offered to drive them because I didn't want her driving in her condition. She said she was alright, but she did say she'd pick me up at the store since I went for a walk. She did come a little while later and her boyfriend wasn't with her. She told me that he's a little weirded out over how nice I am to her. I flat out told her she should dump him and gave the reasons why. She said he's jealous over how I treat her.

She said she does like me (and not as a brother, which is a big win), and she doesn't know what to do. I told her I care very much about her and if he has a problem with me, be a man and say it to my face. The only reason I haven't beat the shit out of her boyfriend is she begged me to calm down, and I listened to her. I think about her all the time. We're perfect for each other.

Now my question is: should I keep treating her better than her boyfriend and keep making him jealous? Keep in mind I don't act like her boyfriend. All I told her is I'm there if she needs me and if he ever lays a finger on her, he's going to the hospital.
 
Sooner or later she'll come around!

I had a similar situation with a friend once... just keep doing what you're doing, but don't be too aggressive though!
 

Philbert

Banned
Sooner or later she'll come around!

I had a similar situation with a friend once... just keep doing what you're doing, but don't be too aggressive though!


Please accept my cynicism for what it is...I wouldn't trust a sudden overnight taste change.
She has a dick for a boyfriend...she didn't just wake up and find him there.
She has that taste in people...and you may be setting yourself up for an emotional ripoff.
I rarely see grown females change their taste in men...just the men.
It may be just my cynicism talking...
 

ChefChiTown

The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
I DO, however, treat her better than he ever could.

Unfortunately, that doesn't really help you. If she really cared about how she gets treated, she wouldn't be dating a scumbag. You know what I mean?

I know that I throw some jokes around on the forum and say some things that could be viewed as disrespectful towards women, but in real life, I treat women better than 99.99999% of the people that I know. Yet, I'm still single.

Don't get too caught up in how well you treat her and think that it's going to give you some sort of leverage. It's not. Like I said, if she really cared about how she gets treated, she wouldn't be dating a scumbag.

I've bought her a Steelers Super Bowl shirt and a couple days later I heard him say to her "burn it." She didn't do it. She said she'd pay me back but I told her she owes me NOTHING for it.

Nice gesture, but don't think that buying her a t-shirt is going to win her over.

She said he's jealous over how I treat her.

Don't look too far into that. All guys are jealous.

She said she does like me (and not as a brother, which is a big win), and she doesn't know what to do.

How long have her and her boyfriend been together?

I told her I care very much about her and if he has a problem with me, be a man and say it to my face. The only reason I haven't beat the shit out of her boyfriend is she begged me to calm down, and I listened to her.

You seem to be focusing on her boyfriend throughout this story. From what I'm reading, it just seems as though you want to be some sort of protector, like a knight in shining armor. Let me ask you this...

If her boyfriend wasn't an asshole, would you still feel so strongly about her? Think about it.

We're perfect for each other.

Why do you say that? Honestly, why do you think that you're perfect for eachother?

Now my question is: should I keep treating her better than her boyfriend and keep making him jealous? Keep in mind I don't act like her boyfriend.

I would keep treating her the way you have been, but don't do it just to piss her boyfriend off. Honestly Violator, it just seems like you have some sort of vendetta for this boyfriend character. Obviously, I don't know exactly how you feel about this girl, but after reading your post, it seems as if your attraction towards this girl is fueled by your dislike of her boyfriend. Don't let that be the reason you want to be with this girl.
 

Violator79

Take a Hit, Spunker!
Nice gesture, but don't think that buying her a t-shirt is going to win her over.

I know that, but he sure a shit doesn't buy her anything. I didn't mean it as a way of winning her over.


How long have her and her boyfriend been together?

I don't know....a year or so?

You seem to be focusing on her boyfriend throughout this story. From what I'm reading, it just seems as though you want to be some sort of protector, like a knight in shining armor. Let me ask you this...

If her boyfriend wasn't an asshole, would you still feel so strongly about her? Think about it.

I have thought long and hard over it and even if he wasn't an asshole, I'd feel the same way about her, only difference is, it probably would've taken longer to realize it.



ChefChiTown;3020155; said:
Why do you say that? Honestly, why do you think that you're perfect for eachother?

I feel she's in need a guy that'll treat her right, and from what I know and what she's told me, she hasn't had it easy with guys, and I've been waiting for a girl that isn't going to treat me like a sack of shit.



ChefChiTown;3020155; said:
I would keep treating her the way you have been, but don't do it just to piss her boyfriend off. Honestly Violator, it just seems like you have some sort of vendetta for this boyfriend character. Obviously, I don't know exactly how you feel about this girl, but after reading your post, it seems as if your attraction towards this girl is fueled by your dislike of her boyfriend. Don't let that be the reason you want to be with this girl.

I liked her boyfriend up to to moment he made her cry that one night and from the constant bickering and fighting he draws her in to. If it was a vendetta, I would've settled it a while ago or just not have given a shit about her. How I feel about her hit me out of the blue. It's the story you've heard about time and time again: boy falls for the girl next door.
 
I'd have to agree with some of the earlier posts in this thread. I have never been in the situation that you are, but I treated my former fiancee like a queen. She left after time.

You maybe infatuated with this woman and truly feel for her, that doesn't mean its going to workout for the two of you. You could start dating and after awhile she may get the hanker for an asshole.

It's OK to be friends with her, but its her life and she is not willing to change then there is nothing you can do. If this guy is trouble then you don't want to light his fuse.

With all the above sane advice, if you are still wanting to get involved, then when you're alone with her, you should try and fuck her. That will get the ball rolling.
 

Analingus

Banned
There is only two things you need to ask yourself. Those other posters love to hear themselves talk.

1. Do you love her?

2. Does she love you?


If yes to the above, then what's the problem? If no, then it is only up to you. Don't ask porn junkies about your love life.
 
How about some honesty towards her? You love her, you don't understand why is she in her relationship. You have something to say and perhaps she would also have something to say...
 
What crime is he on probation for? if it's something violent, i would be extremely careful and prudent. doesn't matter how tough YOU are. a gun or weapon or cruel trick neutralizes that real fast. he could be a wacko and she's scared to say goodbye to him

Sounds like she is supporting him. Why? I'd ask her. And then i would say something like "why don't you kick him out and replace him with someone better, like me?" Put the ball in her court.

Since you have fallen for her, i would do everything i could to get her to be mine. I would be more aggressive than you have been so far. But then i'm not so sure i would fall for someone who obviously has poor taste in men

:2 cents:
 

Philbert

Banned
There is only two things you need to ask yourself. Those other posters love to hear themselves talk.

1. Do you love her?

2. Does she love you?


If yes to the above, then what's the problem? If no, then it is only up to you. Don't ask porn junkies about your love life.

Said the porn junkie...:rofl:
 

maildude

Postal Paranoiac
Boyfriend < Married. Therefore, go for it.
 
Is this the same guy who O.D'd? If so, then just wait.

So that the next time it happens pretend not to hear anything :D, not the nicest way of going about it but fuck it, 'all fair in love and war' as they say. :1orglaugh
 
I think you should keep doing what you've been doing. Maybe if she sees that guys can be different from what she's used to, she'll move away from the dark side. I wouldn't be too persistent with telling her to dump him because, if it does happen and you make a move for her, she might think of you as a vulture moving in for the kill, or, what's worse, a guy who destroyed her "stable" relationship for his own personal gain. Just keep making her feel good, let her see the contrast between an asshole and a jerk off (Wait, that didn't sound right. Wanker, maybe? I mean, you are a denizen of Freeones...), and let her make up her mind on the matter on her own.

Good luck to you, keep us updated.
 

ChefChiTown

The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
I don't know....a year or so?

That's kind of a long time. Philbert made a point to say that she is probably attracted to assholes. If she's been with this jerkoff for a year or so, he's probably right.

Sure, You Might treat her really nice and You Might be a great guy, but if she's been dating an asshole for a year or two, she probably isn't attracted to guys like you. She's probably attracted to the assholes; the guys who treat her like shit. Then, in her few moments of weakness, she'll turn to a guy like you for temporary comfort and support (making it seem like she wants you, even though she's using you), then, after you've made her feel better about herself, she'll run right back into the arms of the asshole boyfriend.

I would let this one go if I were you.

:2 cents:
 
Is this the same guy who O.D'd? If so, then just wait.

So that the next time it happens pretend not to hear anything :D, not the nicest way of going about it but fuck it, 'all fair in love and war' as they say. :1orglaugh

Blueballs: I thought for sure that you were going to suggest peeping in her window and wacking it until he came on her shrubbery.
 

Violator79

Take a Hit, Spunker!
What crime is he on probation for? if it's something violent, i would be extremely careful and prudent. doesn't matter how tough YOU are. a gun or weapon or cruel trick neutralizes that real fast. he could be a wacko and she's scared to say goodbye to him

Sounds like she is supporting him. Why? I'd ask her. And then i would say something like "why don't you kick him out and replace him with someone better, like me?" Put the ball in her court.

Since you have fallen for her, i would do everything i could to get her to be mine. I would be more aggressive than you have been so far. But then i'm not so sure i would fall for someone who obviously has poor taste in men

:2 cents:

He's on probation for drugs and something else, but I can't remember what. He's doesn't seem to be violent, but he did put his hands around her neck that night she was crying, so that throws the non-violent factor out the window.

Is this the same guy who O.D'd? If so, then just wait.

So that the next time it happens pretend not to hear anything :D, not the nicest way of going about it but fuck it, 'all fair in love and war' as they say. :1orglaugh

Yes it's the same guy that O.D.'d. My dad told me and part of me thinks he's right when he said I shouldn't have saved him. But that's not the type of person I am, not to mention my dead mother would roll over in her grave if I didn't help. My neighbor, Dana, that's her name, she told me I saved her boyfriend not for him, but for her, since she was all upset. I didn't say it, but I was thinking to myself "I didn't save him for you. I saved him because I don't need someone dying on me, no matter how I feel about them." I told her boyfriend, there is no next time.


I think you should keep doing what you've been doing. Maybe if she sees that guys can be different from what she's used to, she'll move away from the dark side. I wouldn't be too persistent with telling her to dump him because, if it does happen and you make a move for her, she might think of you as a vulture moving in for the kill, or, what's worse, a guy who destroyed her "stable" relationship for his own personal gain. Just keep making her feel good, let her see the contrast between an asshole and a jerk off (Wait, that didn't sound right. Wanker, maybe? I mean, you are a denizen of Freeones...), and let her make up her mind on the matter on her own.

Good luck to you, keep us updated.

I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing with her. I'm not persistent in any way. The only reason I told her to dump him last night is she told me she doesn't know what to do. That's when I said I know exactly what to do: dump his worthless, lazy ass. I told her she's grown on me but I did not say I'm in love with her. I was careful what words to use. That would've ruined everything.
 
Blueballs: I thought for sure that you were going to suggest peeping in her window and wacking it until he came on her shrubbery.

Not my style mate :hatsoff:




I'm much more for letting someone die.

Wait............WHAT!?! (did I just say that? Well, no I'm typing it but you get what I mean :thefinger)
 
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