Intimate Relationships with Active Pornstars

[DuanCulo]

of course relationships depend a lot on personality but assuming a pornstar was your type (personality wise) and you found her physically attractive, how far would you take your personal relationship with her. keep in mind, she will still be working within the industry and doing her normal volume of b/g scenes (so not the case of her quitting for you or doing g/g scenes only etc.)


as seen on the poll, the options are:

* platonic friends
* one night stand
* a fling (no strings attached sex over a brief period)
* fuck buddy (in this case, meaning you have sex with her on a fairly regular basis but don't have much of a relationship outside of the sex ... so you're more acquaintances than friends.)
* friends with benefits (you're friends, but you have sex with each other from time to time)
* open relationship (you both get to have sex outside of the relationship but don't ever get married)
* monogamous dating / committed relationship (means you would have an intimate serious relationship but you definitely wouldn't propose/marry)
* marriage (NB: she has sex with other guys on camera but outside of that, the two of you are monogamous)
* open marriage (eg. swinging, polyamory)
* wouldn't want to have a personal relationship porn star while she is in the industry (so no friendship or intimate relations)

treat it as if you had all the power to set the parameters of the relationship (so she was game for anything you wanted to choose). for female members and ocsms, you can answer just the same just treat it as if the pornstar is male (or whatever sexual preference you identify with)


for me, i don't think i could have more than a friends with benefits type of relationship with a pornstar, no matter who it was. i definitely have no problems with the profession or what these girls do on camera in general, but if i am going to have in a serious relationship with a female, it has to be monogamous. i know many pornstars say the sex is just a part of the job and some will go as far as to say it's all an act but to me it would be stomach churning to know that she is having sex with other men (especially if it is expected that i wouldn't have sex with other women). it would hurt too much.

 

[CrimsonBolt]

this one
*open relationship (you both get to have sex outside of the relationship but don't ever get married)
or this one, if i was with Jennifer Dark
*marriage (NB: she has sex with other guys on camera but outside of that, the two of you are monogamous)

 

[DP_LOVER]

friends with benefits

 

[redwolf]

Monogamous dating. I wouldn't be seeing other people and I'd be hesitant about getting serious while she was still doing b/g porn. If we got along really well personally and the circumstances were right then I'd find a way to deal with it, but I would always be hoping that she'd stop.

 

[Maggie Green]

I've been with the same guy for almost 8 years. I am totally monogamous off camera.

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

*marriage (NB: she has sex with other guys on camera but outside of that, the two of you are monogamous)

I could do this, I think.

The thing about cheating that damages is not the sex. The sex only means something if you let it. Cheating hurts you because it's a violation of trust - in the traditional boundaries of the "normal" relationship (for what that's worth) you love each other, have intimate times together (not just sex) that you have with nobody else because there is a bond there, and you trust that the other person isn't going to have sex with anybody else.

If your partner's job is to have sex with other people, then you know what they're doing, where they are doing it and with who, so actually, there is no violation of trust. If you are able to disconnect, if you can view your other half banging someone else as no different from playing tennis with them or something like that, then I don't see why it's not possible. Hopefully if your partner's having sex all day at work, you aren't really going to worry about them having an "affair" in secret.

I guess what I'm saying is - sex isn't the be-all and end-all, and I can imagine a situation where a guy can look at the closeness, living together and sleeping in the same bed, planning a future and possibly a family together and be strong enough to say "OK she might bang this guy or that guy at work today, but she still comes home to me."

 

[sean miguel]

Platonic friends. I don't know what 'platonic' means but it sounds kinky.

 

[HappyHapyJoyJoy]

Well... I can be platonic friends with anyone. Well, not Hitler. But you know... yeah.

I know I couldn't do an open relationship. That's just not going to happen. I might be able to do "marriage (NB: she has sex with other guys on camera but outside of that, the two of you are monogamous)" I'm not sure. I'm not a very jealous person, but... actively involved in hardcore? That might cause friction. Honestly, I don't know. I'm an odd duck, and I'd be willing to give it a shot... emotions are unpredictable, have to see where it would go from there :dunno:.

 

[Anonyne#017]

I have some question which is not directly related to topic, but let's say that pornstar is likely to date with another pornstar as they share similar morales and way of thinking these kind of things. But if they break up, do pornstars try to avoid scenes with their ex-male pornstar boyfriends maybe for different ethical reasons or would they still consider this only as work and sex with no feelings? Maybe having sex with ex, even if it's just for movies, might re-ignite old passion? Would it be OK to do hot sex scenes with ex-boyfriend while dating another?

of course relationships depend a lot on personality but assuming a pornstar was your type (personality wise) and you found her physically attractive, how far would you take your personal relationship with her. keep in mind, she will still be working within the industry and doing her normal volume of b/g scenes (so not the case of her quitting for you or doing g/g scenes only etc.)

I take it that you see difference between having been fucked by many guys in past and being fucked by many guys still regularly. Way you put this g/g, shows that what matters is penetrative dick inside a woman, while having other women doesn't seem to bother. You don't seem to be worried here that pornstar might end up starting to like taste of pussy more than your penis?

for me, i don't think i could have more than a friends with benefits type of relationship with a pornstar, no matter who it was. i definitely have no problems with the profession or what these girls do on camera in general, but if i am going to have in a serious relationship with a female, it has to be monogamous. i know many pornstars say the sex is just a part of the job and some will go as far as to say it's all an act but to me it would be stomach churning to know that she is having sex with other men (especially if it is expected that i wouldn't have sex with other women). it would hurt too much.

Do you think that if pornstar showed you their true love like no other woman out here, showing you every day how you are most important person in her life (non-sexual way) also on top of that possibly giving you a taste of sex life you are unlikely to experience with any average nextdoor girl. You could live fairy tale fantasy with all that of course expecting that feeling is mutual, yet you would not see yourself dating a pornstar, if they have sex on camera? You are saying that their job is not issue at all, but at the same time you are saying it is a huge issue. But you just mean having sex with a woman who does have sex with other is not issue, but going with deeper relationship would be unless woman dedicates for you alone. I suppose anyone dating a pornstar must have at least little bit of this cuckoldish side with him to accept their "job"...

Also what comes to just an act, whenever pornstar happens to get real orgasms in her scene, I wouldn't call it so much as just an act. Porn people seem to put these more way that kiss is bad, but dick inside them is nothing serious, while for normal man it's likely going to be one and same either way or opposite...


Personally I'd say to this kind of question, either all in or nothing, but it would be unlikely for me to approach a pornstar in bar knowing her career and I have my doubts, if or how such a relationship would work at all... I'll skip more detailed personal view and just say shortly that I do not join for "after slipperies" and I would see asking that as disrespectful...

 

[CrimsonBolt]

Well... I can be platonic friends with anyone. Well, not Hitler. But you know... yeah.

arrrh tu arschloch! why you won't be platonic with me?

 

[EggMcMoofin]

I could do it if there was a starlet that was relationship material but I don't really know of any that I have enough in common with to actually want to be in a relationship with, ya know?

 

[DuanCulo]

I have some question which is not directly related to topic, but let's say that pornstar is likely to date with another pornstar as they share similar morales and way of thinking these kind of things. But if they break up, do pornstars try to avoid scenes with their ex-male pornstar boyfriends maybe for different ethical reasons or would they still consider this only as work and sex with no feelings? Maybe having sex with ex, even if it's just for movies, might re-ignite old passion? Would it be OK to do hot sex scenes with ex-boyfriend while dating another?

yes, i think doing g/g is way different than doing b/g. in regards to ethics, companies are not going to care if you had a relationship. if the female is so against working with her ex i assume she would add him to her 'no list'. i think an ocsm would answer this question better though since they can possibly speak from experience

I take it that you see difference between having been fucked by many guys in past and being fucked by many guys still regularly. Way you put this g/g, shows that what matters is penetrative dick inside a woman, while having other women doesn't seem to bother. You don't seem to be worried here that pornstar might end up starting to like taste of pussy more than your penis?

yes, being fucked by many guys in the past isn't a desirable quality but at least it's in the past. a person's past is their past and as long as she is upfront about it and not trying to act as if she was some angel when she was not then it's fine.if she's doing it (sleeping with other guys) while with me, then it's cheating.

Do you think that if pornstar showed you their true love like no other woman out here, showing you every day how you are most important person in her life (non-sexual way) also on top of that possibly giving you a taste of sex life you are unlikely to experience with any average nextdoor girl. You could live fairy tale fantasy with all that of course expecting that feeling is mutual, yet you would not see yourself dating a pornstar, if they have sex on camera? You are saying that their job is not issue at all, but at the same time you are saying it is a huge issue. But you just mean having sex with a woman who does have sex with other is not issue, but going with deeper relationship would be unless woman dedicates for you alone. I suppose anyone dating a pornstar must have at least little bit of this cuckoldish side with him to accept their "job"...

she could be the greatest woman in the world, i would stll not get into a serious relationship with her. when i say that their job isn't an issue, i mean i don't look down on pornstars in any way like some people do. they are people just like me and you and deserve the same courtesy (just in general speaking). but when it comes to a relationship, being with an active pornstar is not something i could see myself doing. as you said, you probably have to have a little bit of a cuck in you to be okay with it. otherwise you would probably leave. of course i'm sure a lot of pornstars will say that their partner is every bit of a 'manly man' as any of us or even more, but i think it's either you like/okay with the thought of her having sex with other guys ... or you are not okay but still accept her doing it ... either way, there's a bit of submissiveness any way you rationalize it. i guess it all comes down to your background and what you believe is important in a relationship.

Also what comes to just an act, whenever pornstar happens to get real orgasms in her scene, I wouldn't call it so much as just an act. Porn people seem to put these more way that kiss is bad, but dick inside them is nothing serious, while for normal man it's likely going to be one and same either way or opposite...

i agree

 

[abejarano12]

If it was with the right girl, we would marry. I would have no problem with her still being active after marriage after all it's just her job.

 

[cestmoi2010]

This is tough

I KNOW there is a big difference between "Sex" and "Making Love" but I would have a tough time having my wife/girlfriend tell me in the morning, "Honey I love you - I'm off to work now to get fucked in my ass by Johnny Sins and then have a 3-some with Keiran and Danny Mountain......I'll be home about 5P and we can go out to dinner then.....se ya honey - I love you."

Couldn't do that

IF she did Porn before we met I am OK with it because what she did before we met is her business. I couldn't handle her being active in Porn

I did vote for "one night stand" because being able to say I fucked Kayden Kross or Veronica Radke or Jenni Lee or.............would be AWESOME (I know I can probably do that now if I wanna pay for an hour or so - but I don't)

 

[Shifty]

Active porn stars:

Please stop fucking laughing.

 

[Jack Davenport]

Has DuanCulo ever started a thread that didn't have "pornstar" in the title?

Here are a few ideas for future threads:

Have you ever been in a fender bender with a pornstar?

Has a pornstar ever sneezed at a restaurant in your general direction?

Do pornstars use one ply or two ply toilet paper?

Ever seen a pornstar on a roller coaster?

 

[sean miguel]

Have you ever been in a fender bender with a pornstar?

No but I did rear-end one, on a roller coaster.

 

[Jack Davenport]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to animus fox again

 

[Sicario]

I'll settle for friends with benefits. If she is fucking around on camera, it's only fair that I get me some trim on the side as well. :yesyes:

 

[DuanCulo]

I'll settle for friends with benefits. If she is fucking around on camera, it's only fair that I get me some trim on the side as well. :yesyes:

i totally agree