I think I literally almost killed a guy...

[SN4P3]

...it happened a few days ago. Although I enjoy porn like most guys, one thing that i hate is the whole "rape" scenario that some pornstars do. where they pretend that they are raping a girl and she pretends that she doesn't like it cries and stuff.

just that whole aura about it turns me off. i haven't known anybody close to me that was raped, until when this event happened.

I was studying at the library with a female friend. it was around 3 am and she left to go to the restroom. we were studying for quite some time so while she was away i thought it would be a good time for me to take a break and get some air.

apparently, and i haven't talked to my friend about this since it happened, she must have changed her mind or something, and was walking out to her car...alone.

thank God i stepped outside, because as soon as went outside i saw her walking along side the building, down the sidewalk aways, maybe 80 yards or so away. i pulled out my phone to call her to tell her that i would walk with her, when she was tackled to the ground.

i immediately ran probably the fastest i've ever ran before, adrenaline was pumping. it was dark, but as i approached i saw a guy pulling her in the bushes and was obviously going to rape her. i am not a big guy in any way, and i've only "been in a fight" with someone one time. this guy was bigger than me a little, but i was able to tackle him as i ran there.

i got lucky, does he didn't hear me coming until it was too late, so i got the first tackle in and brought him down. i saw him drop a knife that hit the ground. all i remember is hearing her crying huddled up in the bushes with a cut up shirt and torn jeans, and i pummeled the guy. i just straddled his chest and the first few shots stunned him i guess and i just kept hitting and hitting and hitting. as dark as it was, all i remember is having tunnel vision around his face and it was soft.

the next thing i remember is some other kid pulling me off of him and he just laid there, not moving, bleeding all over. in a few minutes the campus police arrived and got statements and reports and the entire thing.

i don't know what happens next, i assume the guy is in deep shit because he was carrying the knife. the cop said i did the right thing by acting in self defense, but i guess he had a broken nose and a broken jaw and was unconscious.

my friend was really shaken up and was taken in to calm down and get questioned and stuff. but now it's awkward between me and her. probably because she is (unfortunately) embarrassed about what happened and the whole ordeal. maybe having one of her friends see her so vulnerable shook her up.

MY QUESTION IS, i don't know how long i should wait until i discuss it with her. because i want her to know that it was okay and that she shouldn't be embarrassed. she's kind of been keeping to herself at her house and her roommates are there with her and keeping her company, and the few times i talked to her since the incident have been shaky.
i dont want this to change our friendship, i would hate for that to happen. but maybe she just needs time before we can smooth this out.

any advice?

 

[Galactic]

DO NOT try to force anything right now. She is more than likely still in shock. Your relationship WILL survive this....in fact, in due time, I'd bet you will always be a hero to her, because you fucking are, man. Seriously. Good for you for what you did.

That's one hell of an event. Honestly, if the guy had died.....ehhh. No big loss to the world. That aside, you did every woman in that town a HUGE favor that night, and you should be commended for it.

As far as your friend goes, she may never fully heal after something like that, but you will have a special place in her life forever.

Right now she needs to be surrounded by loving, caring people. And time. Just give her that.

Again, you are a fucking hero man.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[CRASHnBURN]

Give her some time man, she's still shaken up from what happened. What you did was great.

I think your friendship will survive this if not make it stronger because she knows that she can count on you when she need it.

 

[Will E Worm]

Good job. :hatsoff:

He dropped a knife and you didn't use it on him?

You would have been justified in ridding the world of his worthless life.

 

[SN4P3]

As far as your friend goes, she may never fully heal after something like that,

...that's what kills me. is that in a matter of 10 seconds her life is changed forever by a scumbag. it's that ONE individual had that power to affect her life like that. which is probably where all that rage came from i guess. pretty scary because i have never been that upset before in my life.

so when you say that she needs to be surrounded by caring and loving people, i am confused. because, am i one of those? granted, we are pretty close friends, but, i am kind of the "brings bad memories about the incident" guy, so, am i exempt from this for the time being?

i know the moment will come where i can jump in and become involved in the healing process, but am i correct in assuming it's not my time yet? and just let her other friends be there for her right now.

thanks for the response

 

[CRASHnBURN]

...that's what kills me. is that in a matter of 10 seconds her life is changed forever by a scumbag. it's that ONE individual had that power to affect her life like that. which is probably where all that rage came from i guess. pretty scary because i have never been that upset before in my life.

so when you say that she needs to be surrounded by caring and loving people, i am confused. because, am i one of those? granted, we are pretty close friends, but, i am kind of the "brings bad memories about the incident" guy, so, am i exempt from this for the time being?

i know the moment will come where i can jump in and become involved in the healing process, but am i correct in assuming it's not my time yet? and just let her other friends be there for her right now.

thanks for the response

What happened was still fresh in her memories and you might be reminding her of that incident. Give her some time and space for the time being. She'll eventually be the first to talk to you or approach you.

 

[Galactic]

...

so when you say that she needs to be surrounded by caring and loving people, i am confused. because, am i one of those? granted, we are pretty close friends, but, i am kind of the "brings bad memories about the incident" guy, so, am i exempt from this for the time being?

i know the moment will come where i can jump in and become involved in the healing process.......

You are DEFINITELY one of those.....but you are right about bad memories. But don't look at it like that. Simply put, she is trying to process everything right now, and you were RIGHT there in the middle of this event. It is going to be WAAAYYY too fresh in her mind at this exact moment in time. It's not that she doesn't love you for what you did, not at ALL, but rather, because you were so close to what happened, she just might not be able to be that close to the event right now. Make sense?

I really hope it doesn't sound like I am blaming you at all right now, because that is NOT what I am doing. It's just that I'd bet she is trying to maybe forget for the time being, and will come around and begin to process everything in her own way. Things are going to be way too fresh right now.

I'd bet money she will be thankful to you for the rest of her life. That night, YOU were her guardian angel, my friend, and she realizes this.

Hang in there brother. She WILL come calling for you.

 

[ChefChiTown]

MY QUESTION IS, i don't know how long i should wait until i discuss it with her. because i want her to know that it was okay and that she shouldn't be embarrassed. she's kind of been keeping to herself at her house and her roommates are there with her and keeping her company, and the few times i talked to her since the incident have been shaky.
i dont want this to change our friendship, i would hate for that to happen. but maybe she just needs time before we can smooth this out.

any advice?

Talk to her ASAP. No, I don't mean "have a long winded discussion about feelings, emotions and what happened that night" (if she wants to talk about it, she will), but at least go and talk to her and see if she's alright. She's probably sitting there wondering why you helped her that night, but haven't been there for her since.

:2 cents:

This is going to make me sound like an asshole, but...it's not like she was actually raped. Don't treat her as if she was and make this situation such a life-altering experience for her. She was, for lack of a better phrase...assaulted. Mugged? Attacked? Eh, :dunno: If you baby her too much and let her sink deeper into believing that she was raped, you are just going to make the situation blossom into something much, much worse than what it really is.

I know that she's probably a little on edge right now, and I'm not saying that you need to go slap her and tell her to snap out of it...just don't act like it's the end of the world. Continue on with your friendship as if nothing happened, but be willing to talk about it, if she wants to.

 

[DOA82]

I doubt any story I read online that borders on this side of fantasy, its nothing personal Im just that cynnical.

Arent you being a little selfish and looking at this from all the wrong angles? You think your friend is embarassed by someone seeing her so vulnerable? Or that you worry her opinion of you for being there has changed as well?

Um....She was almost raped for fuck sake! Despite the fact that the actual rape never took place, she was still attacked at knife point in which she probably knew was a sexually motivated attack. Because you saw her crying with a cut up shirt, shes gonna be a little shaky? Hold on there hero!

Her confidence is gonna be shattered, her emotional security and state are going to be in tatters. She will probably need some kind of councelling to deal with all of this. Ive never dealt with anyone in that situation either and god willing never have to.

Stop thinking about yourself in this situation, step back from the applause and look at her situation. When she is ready let her come to you. What are you going to say to her?

"Dont be embarassed about nearly being raped!" That is possibly the worst thing you could say to someone in that situation. Let her know you are there for her when the time comes and step back.

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

Way to go man, you may have saved her life there. :glugglug:

I say give her some time. She is traumatized and she needs time alone. Try visiting her a few times to check up on her, but don't try to force a conversation on her.

 

[Legzman]

Had you actually killed him you would have gotten away with it. Ever heard of self defense? You should have killed him. I probably would have.

 

[snoopy63]

First off, congrats on such courageous action, and thankfully neither of you were hurt by the knife, that could've done some awful damage.

I'd just let her know that she can always talk to you about this incident if she wants to, but I'd also let her know that you will keep details about the incident private. As for other things, definitely let her know you are a friend and always there to listen, but give her space and time as well. Let her decide when she wants to start hanging out again is what I would have to say...

Anyhow, you've already done so much, imagine if she had gotten raped, she would absolutely never live that down, thank god you saved her from that fate...

 

[Legzman]

First off, congrats on such courageous action, and thankfully neither of you were hurt by the knife, that could've done some awful damage.

I'd just let her know that she can always talk to you about this incident if she wants to, but I'd also let her know that you will keep details about the incident private. As for other things, definitely let her know you are a friend and always there to listen, but give her space and time as well. Let her decide when she wants to start hanging out again is what I would have to say...

Anyhow, you've already done so much, imagine if she had gotten raped, she would absolutely never live that down, thank god you saved her from that fate...

blah, blah, blah...she owes you now bro! I'd say dinner (she pays) a movie (she pays) then back to her place for an all night sloppy fuck fest!!! :glugglug:

 

[titsrock]

blah, blah, blah...she owes you now bro! I'd say dinner (she pays) a movie (she pays) then back to her place for an all night sloppy fuck fest!!! :glugglug:

And with this announcement, the Legz for Prez 2012 campaign was officially launched...

:bawling::nono:

OP: Job well done. Give your friend time to recover. You are a hero. Did this incident happen on a college campus?

 

[Cherry Ferretti]

Had you actually killed him you would have gotten away with it. Ever heard of self defense? You should have killed him. I probably would have.

Agreed. Or had one of my brothers do it. lol I rarely go anywhere with out them.

Give her space, let her collect her thoughts and come to terms with everything, especially the fact that she's safe and okay. She'll come to you with gratitude when she's ready.

 

[NavyBlue]

Big thumbs up for what you did. You saved a woman from rape and possible death and you did it with courage and bravery that this world needs more of. I applaud you for your action and I hope you will get a medal for what you did.

I think she just needs some time to herself right now. She's probably embarrassed about facing you so give her some time to think about it. Then when she's ready to face you do NOT bring up the incident. Just be cool and pretend nothing's happened and if she wants to talk about it then just let her air it out. You will forever be the hero to her and she's eternally grateful to you so keep that in mind and don't worry about it. Time will heal everything you'll see.

 

[Death-Proof-69]

good job man! :thumbsup: rape is one of the things in this world i have zero tolerance for...just stay open to her and stay there for her, she'll pull through...the less you do the better at this point so long as you're just there for her

 

[Timbobjambo]

Had you actually killed him you would have gotten away with it. Ever heard of self defense? You should have killed him. I probably would have.

I doubt he would get away with that.

i got lucky, does he didn't hear me coming until it was too late, so i got the first tackle in and brought him down.

and i pummeled the guy. i just straddled his chest and the first few shots stunned.

and i just kept hitting and hitting and hitting.

So he has control over the situation, but still he decides to keep hitting him.

When i first read this i thought this was some kind of fantasy story or something, After reading all the replies i don't know what to think and i don't want to be disrespectful if this is true.

Hope thinks work out and thinks go back as it used to be.

 

[sumoftheexcess]

Thousands of people including myself wish they could have been there to stop a loved one or a friend from being raped. Right now she's scared, has little or no sense of control, and questioning her sense of self. I know as a guy you probably want to clear the air, but let her sort things out for herself.

I agree with the other posters. She'll talk to someone when she's ready. It just may not be with you. You've seen a side of her that no one has ever seen and that may remind her of her vulnerability. Just keep being a good friend.

I don't know you, but you've done good. Thank you.

 

[Cov171]

Buddy,

My wife works for the sexual assault centre and I hear bad stories far too often. Good on you for what you did. You are a hero and and great person. Give your friend time and when she is ready to talk she will and when she does you will not just be here hero but probably the closest person to her. Congrats to you for doing what you did but but that was only half of it. You now need to be the good friend and be there when SHE is ready, when will that be... she'll decide. I'm just glad this story finished the way it did.