I finally went to the lap dancing club
- Thread starter Spanker
- Start date
dave_rhino
Closed Account
Congratulations 
artysml:
artysml:Purple†Pain
Banned
You broke your 'Strip club' cherry!!! Good job dude.:nanner:
-Pain
sig by Undertaker
-Pain
sig by Undertaker
dave_rhino
Closed Account
Just a suggestion, why don't you add "-Pain / Sig by Undertaker" to your signature? Then you don't have to type it every time. :dunno:
'Bout fucking time! Congratulations! :thumbsup: See? It wasn't that tough, was it? I'll bet you're already planning your next trip.
meesterperfect
Hiliary 2020
Tell me more , Tell me more
How much dough did you spend?
How much dough did you spend?
member979979
Closed Account
Em I the only one who has a hard time getting a woody inside a strip club? It's just too dark in there for me.
Someone told me that in some Strip Clubs they release some chemical into the air that suppresses erections. Anyone know if this has any truth to it?
Ah yes, conspiracy theories of the strip club. They are well known throughout the world and are funded by the government.
For punters they:
mix bromide into the drinks to suppress sex drive.
keep scissors secreted in ingenious places to pull out on a whim to do a "John Wayne Bobbitt" on your ass, if you get a hard-on.
Break your arms and snap off your fingers if you get fresh.
give you drugs that makes you happily pay £50 for a £5 drink.
use dark lighting and specially tinted bulbs that make you susceptible to opening your wallet.
dip the strippers in specially formulated perfume that tricks the punters brain into spending money.
paint the strippers in so much make up, they just about look attractive, aka the bear goggles effect.
For young helpless unsuspecting girls they:
add crack cocaine to their drinks, get them hooked and make them become slaves to the industry.
kidnap their grandmothers and tell them that if they do not dance, "the old lady get's it."
For everyone they:
mix subliminal noises into music and hidden messages in advertisements telling them to go to strip clubs, buy ready made meals from super markets and assure us society is healthy and everything is going to be ok.
As a seasoned Gentlemens club veteran allow me to welcome you by clueing you in on the "Top 10 Strip Club Mistakes". They are as follows:
1. Using Credit Cards. You shouldn’t use credit cards period. This is how Big Brother and The Illuminati track our mind, soul and body. So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that you should never use credit cards in a Gentleman club. There are so many reasons we don’t need to go into them all here. Not the least, what are you going to do with $500 in “Beaver Bucks” when you leave?
2. Focusing on one Exotic Dancer. This is one of the most common mistakes you see guys make in a Gentleman’s Club. Don’t get spooled up over one girl. You lose all your leverage. Any semi-successful business dealmaker will tell you that the key is to have multiple deals cooking at once. That’s Leverage. Gentleman’s Clubs are no different.
3. Long drawn out conversations. News just in, Exotic Dancers are hustlers. An argument could be made, that the best of the best are maybe even the female version of The G. A far-fetched argument, but an argument could be made none the less. The longer you get caught up in sob stories, or let them weave their magic (and I am not talking about that kind of Magic that I weave to turn two kilo’s into three, either), you are at a disadvantage. Stick and move (so to speak).
4. Calling it a “strip club”. Show some class. It’s a “Gentleman’s Club”. Marks go to strip clubs. G’s go to Gentleman’s Clubs.
5. Not being suited down. And when I say, “suited down” I mean Suited properly, not some 9-5 suit that an accountant guy wears during some conference in Milwaukee. Wear something custom, flash and statement making. A 9-5 suit. (That is, 9pm to 5am). Let’s face it, most guys dress like buffoons these days. Old-school players are rolling over in their graves. (I don’t know if I have ever used the word “buffoon” before, but I can’t think of any other way to describe it.)
6. Not bringing enough CASH or Bankroll. You never want to get involved in any maneuver undercapitalized, much less a Gentleman's Club. Ever stepped into an illegal high stakes poker game with a small bankroll? Stepping into a Gentleman’s Club with a small bankroll is equally as stupid.
7. Spreading CASH around the wrong way. The wrong way is caring and showing emotion. Don’t be cheap and don’t act like you care. Exotic Dancers deserve a bottled water or some kind of weird, colorful shot when they get off stage. Some of those pole moves are tough. See if your civilian girlfriend can hang upside down on a pole and do a transfer into the splits.
8. Not locking bartenders, bouncers, waitresses and managers down. These people can be your allies or your enemies. Keep the wheels greased.
Side note: The female bartenders and waitresses can be some of the best leads in the joint.
9. Acting like every other guy. It’s a Gentleman’s Club, skippy, you didn’t sign something that says you have to tell the truth. You don’t have to use your real name either (it is not like her real name is Sapphire…right?). You don’t have to be yourself. Gentleman’s Clubs (and nightlife in general) are all about escapism. In fact, you are way better off not letting her know what you actually do for a living. If you want a girl to like you for your true Working Class Stiff self, find a civilian girl. Exotics like three types of guys: Losers, Gangsters, and International Playboy/Gs. Choose one.
10. No Dances. This kind of falls into #9. “Guy that gets dances, is guy that doesn’t get Exotic Dancers”- Famous International Playboy.
Careful. Don't fall into the category that is me. I'm hooked on strip clubs as it's the only attention I get from females. I walk in there and see a giant ass and all my money disappears. You can easily spend yout entire paycheck if you're not careful. On the same token, it sucks to have a hot girls willing to give you a lap dance, yet have no cash to do so. I've been in that spot too, but I'm mostly in the spot of working to give my paychecks to strippers.
i was kind of like that myself. get super drunk and waste a ton of money, usually on one of 3 girls. i don't go anymore, that fantasy is just that, a fantasy.
it can get to be expensive, be smart with your money. it's fun, though, if you can afford it.
I appreciate the honesty. I use to go until I realized it's all a game to divorce you from your cash. I went only a few times, but was also turned off when I saw that the dancers were willing to go all the way too. I'm not trying to ruin my life or my marriage over a weak moment and a piece of booty.
I wish the dancers around here would go all the way. But alas, they all play by the rules. Also, I have a problem of flirting with them, thinking that they'll actually like me back. I fail so hard.
meesterperfect
Hiliary 2020
nothing like spending a bunch of money, gettin all horned up and going home alone.
thats why the "lap dancing clubs" here are better.
because all the girls (sexier and prettier than 90% of the strippers in the states) are available for sex in between dances.
You can even take them home for the price of a few U.S. dick teases, I mean lap dances.
thats why the "lap dancing clubs" here are better.
because all the girls (sexier and prettier than 90% of the strippers in the states) are available for sex in between dances.
You can even take them home for the price of a few U.S. dick teases, I mean lap dances.
