Little Red Wagon Repairman
Girls Can't Wrestle
This one gal I went out with I really liked. We'd go out to dinner and I'm a gentleman so I open her door and let her in always. This gives me enough opportunity to be a stealthy clod and fart all over one of the rear tires. I kept the routine up for some time. About 3 months in we're over at her place one night. She lets loose a tiny little squeaker fart knowing I heard it then tries to make it into a cute thing using Drew Barrymore-type baby talk. I grinned back at her like a stoner and lifted my leg aiming my evil sulfur blast at her baby-blues. I sank her Battleship with one shot and the relationship altered course after that. We never saw land or the wedding chapel.