Does demanding or withholding sex constitute abuse?

[tvstrip]

https://theovertimer.com/2021/08/aew-star-darby-allin-accused-of-abuse/
"He also would threaten to leave me if I didn’t have sex with him or do sexual things and preform sex acts with him. I took me a long time to realize that threatening someone to have sex with you isn’t consent. It’s rape."

Interesting debate going on about the topic.

Do you think that demanding sex or threatening to end a relationship constitutes abuse or even rape?
Consent can't be made under duress, so if the person felt coerced or forced, it could technically constitute rape.

Conversely, would withholding sex in a sexual relationship also be considered abuse? If the partner who wants the sex is now being forced to masturbate or face the prospect of cheating on their partner, that could also ring high on the emotional scale for them. I've seen divorce cases where withholding sex was considered emotional abuse and ground to grant the divorce.

Lots more I could add, and plenty of opinions on the topic. Any thoughts?

 

[Mr. Daystar]

I don't think demanding, is equal to rape, but it could be considered abuse I guess. It depends on how and what are done and said during the demanding, If the person that's demanding the sex, isn't getting it for a good reason, then maybe the relationship is better off ending. If the person withholding the sex is doing it out of spite, or because they aren't getting their way in the relationship, then the other person should just leave, Either way, the whole thing sounds like a textbook case of dysfunctional behavior.

 

[VillellaMcMeans]

Anything can be duress/abuse, depends on the amount - but anytime a person is free to leave of their own free will, it's their own fault if they didn't choose to leave.

 

[tvstrip]

I can certainly see the viewpoint to call the partner's bluff and simply walk away from the relationship. It would seem like a no brainer.

But then throw in considerations like financial dependence, immigration status, marital status (divorce may not be a viable option), etc.

Even narrowing the issue down to a relationship where there's no legal relationship, and no financial reason why they couldn't leave, many of these people have codependency issues, which is huge aspect to consider.

 

[Pornfan99]

I believe there is an entire Reddit community / thread on "dead bedrooms.."

 

[VillellaMcMeans]

I can certainly see the viewpoint to call the partner's bluff and simply walk away from the relationship. It would seem like a no brainer.

But then throw in considerations like financial dependence, immigration status, marital status (divorce may not be a viable option), etc.

Even narrowing the issue down to a relationship where there's no legal relationship, and no financial reason why they couldn't leave, many of these people have codependency issues, which is huge aspect to consider.

Truthfully, I got no sympathy for dependency issues, because it's just simply boils down to either there is agreement or no agreement - either you agree to their terms in exchange for any perceived benefit, or the benefits are or are not worth staying for.

People choose what they are dependent on or not dependent on, so even if the choice to leave was being homeless - that's still a choice. Or even the choice not to leave the house but just not do whatever is demanded, is still a choice or option.

As long as they not being forced into anything through physical harm, they are free to choose whatever they want.