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being british

this is for all the people around the world, its to let you no what bbeing british is all about

p.s you have to read it all :)


BEING BRITISH
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a

Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish

kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on

a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and......

-Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

-Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to

the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can

buy cigarettes at the front.

-Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and

a DIET coke.(haha and they supersize them)

-Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to

the counters.

-Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the

drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

-Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then

have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to

talk to in the first place.

-Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a

skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the

fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas

decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling

accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of

the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit

cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after

opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control

Scalextric cars.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

I am proud to be British
 
I must have moved. As most of that doesn't apply to me.

Oh yeah I don't *he says looking left*

I live on Lucy's Dream Island :D
 
^^I agree. Most of that stuff would only apply to some I imagine. Sounds like the Brits and the Yanks have more in common than we might know. Alot of those can apply to certain Americans too. No matter what I said on the football thread, (nothing too bad) Here's to the Brits!:glugglug:
 
Very funny, but I heard the first half of it with "America/American" in place of "Britain/British". :D
 
My parents immigrarted to OZ when I was 3, to avoid all that.
Guess what, it's just about the same here.
However, I think the Brits tend to see the funny side of themselves more than most nationalities.
 
Isnt it also true that there more non nationals in England than there are English people??,remember reading that somewhere before
 
Only in England can we have a football team (Arsenal) - made up entirely of foreign players.
 
Well, I for one don't drive a German car and I've never been to an Irish pub in my life.I don't drink that disgusting Belgian swill (which is in any case brewed in England) ....well I could go on but the cap doesn't fit anywhere.
 
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.


In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.


those two were my favorites.

the 1st part applies to America in the same way, though.
and yes Dave, that is the American way:1orglaugh

Irish pubs are the best!:glugglug:
In Chicago, we don't have too many English pubs, though. i think theres one in Lincoln Park, but i'm pretty sure it's owned/operated by Americans. in any case i haven't been there for years. Lots of Irish places, though.

funny list:glugglug:
 
Very funny, but I heard the first half of it with "America/American" in place of "Britain/British". :D


Most of it could be written about Ireland (where I am from) and I am sure that the Italians, French, Spanish, Russians, Chinese, Indians, Malays, Australians, New Zealanders, Brazilians, Dutch, Poles, Germans, Peruvians, Argentinians, South Africans, Pakistanis and so on all have there own version of this.

Belonging to any nationality has its funny side.

Mel
 
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control

Scalextric cars.


I don't know why, I found that hilarious!:rofl:
 
And you're British?

I don't believe you.


..

True enough.To me an Irish pub only can exist in Ireland , otherwise it's a fake Irish pub or an Irish style pub and I despise theme pubs.If I ever visit Ireland I'll be sure to enjoy lots of Irish pubs though! I am surrounded by excellent English pubs so why bother?
 
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