i am going to go out and buy a junky old van with tons of rust, smashed windows, white walls, remove the muffler, cover the van in tons of dirt and mud, remove all the seats except for the front two ones, then piss all over the inside of the van, and take a shit inside the van as well. also i will cum on the inside of the van, remove some of the floor boards, and replace them with wood, spray some water on the inside to make the van moldy, and fill the gas tank with boat gas.
next i will over load the vans weight capacity, and floor it over a speed bump so it will bottom out, and i will smash one of the headlights, and lastly i will key the side of the van
oh and i will leave a couple used condoms in the back
then i will drive around los angeles or Miami, in a rain and wind storm, while i have a beautiful lady sitting in the back, and i will find a homeless man to sit in the passenger seat. i will make sure that i don't have a shower for a few days and make sure that i am sweaty
next we will pick up random men and they will want to have sex with the woman in the van. remember, we will never of met this man before. every strange creepy man that we pick up will be well hung, because it is very easy to tell what guys are well hung and what guys are not well hung, even though we have never met them before
next the female in the van will have will be instantly turned on when this random guy gets in the van and the random guy will have an instant boner when he sees the lady in the van
then they will fuck
while they are fucking, i will drive the van around town and the homeless guy sitting ion the passenger seat will film the sex, and he will narrate the sex, but everything he will say will be completely idiotic and annoying and he will make fun of the lady and the man, untimatly making the video horrible
the random guy will cum on the lady and his cum will taste like chocolate and smell like fresh cut flowers, and the girl will have cummed five times
then the lady will open the door and the random naked guy will tuck and roll out the door and we will be going 80 down the highway and he will land unscathed.
next we will post the video on the inter-webs, and every man in the world will pay whatever price we charge to view the video, and we will tell them all that there credit card will only be charged one yet we will actually start charging them monthly
there will be no cancellation instructions, except for a phone number that will cost 10$ per minute and there will only be one person manning the phone line and he will be from a foreign country and hardly know how to speak English and have a thick accent
and the phone line will only be open one day a week for one hour 3am-4am
and finally we will claim that our website has been around since 1801, and that it is the number 1 sex site in the world
and we will only update the site once a month
oh and don't forget that, within 30 seconds of each new video update, some loser who hasn't had sex in 5 years will upload the full video onto a site that shares full length porn videos for free
and all the pictures will be on a free site within 30 seconds as well
and finally some one will post a thread in the freeones talk section bashing the video as soon as the video has been posted on the internet, and huge arguments will start over how everyone thinks the videos are real
