1000 things you never thought you would have to say...

.... but ended up saying anyway!


1. "Get off my damn jalapenos you cheap bitch" - in the cinema with a poor friend

2. "I reckon I'll be fine if I can find the bit that tore out" - ********* impaled myself once on a fence post tearing flesh out of my hip

3. "I never ever needed to know what poocum was" - after finding out what poocum was
 

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