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Here's something you never hear a guy say: "Stop sucking my dick, or I'll call the police!" George Carlin This guy just wanted to prove George wrong.

It's not Kevorkian, Mayhem was right it's Norman Borlaug.

Can anybody name either of these two people, without cheating. Why is it that the person on the left is more famous than the one on the right? Why does having a big ass make you a household name, while saving over a billion people gets your death mentioned at the end of the news?

Yep there is nothing sexual in the bible at all.

I wouldn't worry about Perry he's a dumb redneck who can barely run the state of Texas, there's no way someone like that will be elected presi...nevermind.

Damn I've got to start paying more attention to the news that's less than 50 miles from where I live and I didn't hear about it until now. Here is a local news report on the story.

I don't know if it's dirty but it's my favorite. A kid goes fishing with his grandpa, while they are out on the lake the grandpa opens a beer and starts drinking. The kid says “grandpa can I have a beer.” The grandpa replies “Can your dick touch your asshole?” “No it can’t grandpa, why did you...

That happened to me several times, just trying to help out and people act like your the fucking problem. Next time somebody honks to get you to move stand infront of them with both feet planted on the road and scratch your balls, pick your nose, look at the clouds and act like you're deaf...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Pius_X http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_John_Paul_II http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winnipeg http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winnipeg_Jets Jack Daniel to Demon core

Angel to Baylor University under "Contemporary belief in angels" Baylor University to Texas in the box on the right next to "Location" Texas to Virginia at the very bottom of the page under "Political divisions of the United States" Virginia to Hampton, Virginia also at the very bottom of the...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baylor_University http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hampton,_Virginia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikki_Nova White Castle to Thermodynamic temperature

:rofl2: Pepsi burns when it goes through your nose. I thin it's time for Mom to go to a nursing home.

Don't you know the mormons were the correct choice, just wait until the rapture hits Utah the states population will go from 150 to 3 instantly.

Damn, he was the reason I started watching WWF when I was a kid. Sucks that he had to die like that, but a car crash is better than being shot over cigarette smuggling. Found this on youtube, without the black beard and hair he looks old (but like could still kick ass).

A couple years ago I was visiting my sister and brother-in-law and I was sleeping on their couch (to drunk to drive), about 4 am some guy comes creeping in the back door. I with my quick thinking and cat like reflexes grab my brother-in-law's combat helmet and smack the guy in the back of the...

Burnout Paradise, it's the game I play when I can't find anything else.

Duels of the Planeswalkers is available for 360, PS3, and Windows. I played MTG for several years but I quit after the Unhinged set came out, still have all of my cards though and my Gleemax deck. I bought Duels of the Planeswalkers when it came out but I couldn't get into the cards again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knights_Hospitaller http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knights_Templar http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ark_of_the_Covenant http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raiders_of_the_Lost_Ark http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indiana_Jones_and_the_Kingdom_of_the_Crystal_Skull...

I can't stand Final Fantasy games especially 7.

Just finished Batman Arkham Asylum, thinking about going back to Red Dead Redemption.

A couple years ago I was getting ready to go to a party carrying a cooler full of ice, beer, and booze to my car, when I lost my balance on the last stair off the deck. When I tried to catch myself my left ankle rolled, all I really remember was a loud pop and something hitting my leg. Within...

Awesome series so far, read that the next episode is about Cage. Fucking pussies cried to youtube and got the second episode censored, bullshit.

Good as Gandhi...hmm...tough one, Eric Cartman

I remember reading an article several years ago that said girs don't enter puberty until their body stores up enough fat to support a fetus, which is why extremly skinny girls (like professional gymnasts) don't enter puberty until much later, some being almost 20.

Blue Label and Highland Park if I'm drinking scotch, if I'm not I rarely have the same drink twice in a row. My favorites are makers mark, wild turkey, captain morgan, absolut, bacardi (superior and 151), and 1800 silver.

Honestly, even as a car guy (I do custom work for a living) 800 hp seems a bit much, because no matter how hard you try not all of the power will make it to the road. As for the life of the engine, even at 800 hp it could last for over 100,000 miles if it is built properly. I've built a twin...

The 360 controller is my favorite by far, the PS3 isn't too bad but it feels awkward in my giant clown hands. The original Xbox controller was uncomfortable no matter how you held it, and if you managed to play through all of the hand cramps the buttons would hurt your fingers. I remember...

Finally beat New Vegas after siding with Yes Man, nothing more satisfying than watching him throw someone off the dam.

Amber Rayne Faye Reagan Angelina Valentine Can't believe I never thought to check this before.

How do you plan on celebrating the start of the new year. I'm going to spend it with my friends, a bottle of Highland Park, and possibly some family.

I shook hand with Shrub (George Bush), when he was still governor of Texas he visited my elementary school.

The first car I owned was a 1958 Pontiac Star Chief, I paid $1200 dollars for it on my 16th birthday, took it home and started working on it, two years later I sold it for almost $10,000. The first car I drove regularly was a 1964 Chevy pickup my dad bought when I was 12, I drove it regularly...

In my life I've been caught having sex seven times. The first time was when I was 14 my dad walked in on me having sex with my 18 year old girlfriend, he opened the door just far enough to see what was going on the shut it and walked away. I wasn't sure what to do in that situation so I just...

When I was 5 I found my brothers' porn stash, I saw alot more than boobs that week. The first time I saw them in person I was 11 and accidentally walked in on my friends 19 year old sister as she was getting out of the shower.

In a way, I've been known to drop what im working on yell "Fuck it I quit" and leave, but I always come back after I calm down. I think it's odd I've been working with the same guys for 5 years, and we don't fight as much as I have with some of the girls I've dated.

fingers

I drive a 1970 Chevy Chevelle SS with a 454 or a 1952 MG TD depending on my mood and the weather.

Some time last year my roommate gave me some naked pictures of herself, one day while she was at work I got bored and found the pics. Long story short she walked in on me churning some butter to her pictures.

What would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning with 30 billion dollars tax free? That's enough to spend one million dollars a day for over 80 years. Honestly I have a hard time deciding how to spend 100 dollars, I would probably go nuts with 30 billion, but the best thing I can think of would...

When I was 13 she found a pair of my girlfriends underwear, apparently in our haste to get dressed when her mom rang the doorbell she decided to skip putting them on and tossed them in with my laundry. Later that week my mom finds them and freaks, my dad overhears her yelling at me, comes into...

Yes ...been so drunk you have to have someone help you go to the bathroom.

Question 1 I don't stick my nose in a womans business unless she asks me to, since this one has syphilis I'll just keep my nose out of her business altogether. Question 2 I'm not a big fan of martinis and I can't stand beer. however I have been known to drink unhealthy amounts of whisky. Yes...

Although I'm not high I would kill for some white castles right now, or some timbits or both I don't really care.

I might but odds are there is some guy in a flannel shirt and ski mask waiting in the bushes for a ride too .

Yeah she says that now but when you get her in bed and try it, it turns out that ass is not the other vagina, infact her ass is a no fly zone.

Pardon the old joke but "do those come with hairnets".

My first car was a 1958 Star Chief, and while the backseat was fairly roomy it was a pain in the ass to get to because the car was a two-door.

You can see his stripes but you know he's clean Oh don't you see what I mean. sorry that just popped into my head:crash:

One of my friends once Christianity was created by a carpenter, a whore, and 12 of his buddies, I don't think the Crusades would have happened if people had thought of that 900 years ago.

Yes, but eventually you have to come up for air.