Marriage a worthless institution ?

[CaDDaFy]

I feel that most people would consider marriage more than just a metaphor. Whether viewed in a religious, legal, or romantic light, I think that marriage for most people represents a covenant that people come to rely on, and can become the underpinning of their lives and sense of identity.

a covenant is just a fanciful word for contract–one in which almost any two people could go out monday morning and have a marriage license in a matter of hours.

as current american heterosexual marriages only work out 51% of the time, i’d say that’s a damn shabby covenant. it seems that marriage is a dying standard, and knee-jerk heterosexuals want to make it even more exclusive and restrictive.

i can tell you what effect that has on me. i’d sooner do anything else than get married and be associated with a covenant of discrimination. throwing out the baby with the bathwater…? what baby?

and that’s what’s probably going to happen. marriage will either be ****** to expand (albeit begrudingly) or it will dig in its heels and be obsoleted by civil unions in their innumerable variations.

 

[Iamforever]

as current american heterosexual marriages only work out 51% of the time

if this is true, then 49% of marriages work. id say thats pretty damn good considering we as a society have more options and temptations than there used to be.

 

[D-rock]

Marriage is what it is. Despite what others in society might think marriage is nothing more than what the couples want to put into it. Marriage isn't a problem. More often than not it's people getting married when they probably shouldn't that's the problem. Marriage as an institution seems to have worked fine when handled right from before recorded history.

 

[Imagine]

Unnecessary, but no more worthless than you make it.

 

[Facetious]

Yea. The feminist movement destroyed it.

 

[jamrak]

to me marriage is absolutely useless, and the more so - harmful, cuz for many people it causes a false conception of what is "good" relations, in opposite to "not serious", "not real" etc...
to my mind marriage is a ridiculos rudiment, and all that religious touch only adds a level of stupidity and far-fetchedness to it.
I **** marriage institution.

 

[Becks...poamr]

Yea. The feminist movement destroyed it.

Damn feminists. Ruin things for us ladies who like being treated...well, like ladies.

Blah.

Hey, look!! Prison Break is on.

:wave2:

 

[YMIHERE]

Marriage is not a worthless institution. I know quit a few divorce lawyers who make a lot of money from broken marriages. And as a bonus this enables them to pay their alimony.

 

[meesterperfect]

Marriage is what it is. Despite what others in society might think marriage is nothing more than what the couples want to put into it. Marriage isn't a problem. More often than not it's people getting married when they probably shouldn't that's the problem. Marriage as an institution seems to have worked fine when handled right from before recorded history.

Very well said D.
Excellent insight.

 

[MikeyK]

I'm not against marriage but I also don't see why it is needed. If two people are living together and enjoying life why is marriage needed? I feel it can cause more harm than good. If you are planning on having ******** I would say marriage could be a good thing. But if you don't plan on having them then why get married. Just enjoy what you have.

Also I believe the marriage rate is so bad because most people are morons who just jump into it without taking the time to think it out.

 

[Facetious]

Somewhere along the line, society had become very good at becoming flaky and ********* to sacrifice and fulfill commitments made. If we ever learned it in the first place. It's like the weather vane of our time, I suppose.

 

[hedonis]

I wouldn't say worthless. I think it's what the two people involved make of it. There's a lot of work, communication, and understanding involved. I think too many people are enamored with the concept of the wedding, and forget that it's just one day, while the marriage is every day after that, and demands a lot more attention.

Pay more attention to the day-to-day stuff than where you're buying your silly "unity candle".

H

 

[mongo18]

It's way too easy to get divorced nowadays. Just fill out some forms and it's done. Back in the day, society frowned upon divorce, and people worked together, made compromises, and with a little effort made their marriage work. I get pissed off when I see what a sham hollywood has made out of it, damn actors are getting divorced and remarried to every new co-star just to drum up some damn publicity. Take those assholes out and the success rate for marriage is probably a lot higher!

 

[anomaly]

Marriage has become a novelty in our society. People like to say they are married or engaged. It makes them feel good. The reality is that having a roommate to share the bills with and sex is a good idea.:helpme:

 

[McRocket]

Let's say you are a 25 year old heterosexual male? And let's say that the age range that you will consider to date is between 20 and 28 - an 8 year range.
Since their are 6.6 billion people in the world and approximately 3.3 billion women; and since (according to the CIA World Fact Book) the average life expectancy of a woman today is about 68 years. Then that means that about 1/8 of the female population is in your age range - or about 400 million women.
Now let's say that you are only physically attracted to 5% (you picky bastards - lol) of all the world's women in your age range. That leaves 20 million women in the world that are in your age range that you are physically attracted to.
Now let's assume that you have gotten to know 1,000 women (and I assume it's no where near that high of a number - but what the heck) personally well enough to know whether you wish to date them or not. That means you have gotten to know 1/20,000th of all the women in the World that you are physically attracted to that are in your age range. So for every one that you have gotten to know - there are 19,999 more that you have not.

Now someone is going to try and convince me that they have met the 'love of their life' that they will 'love, honour and cherish until death do you part'? Even though the odds that they have met THE one are 1 in 20,000 against?
No chance.

If you go into marriage as a temporary bonding of two people who respect, love, and need each other to help each other to get through this thing called life - then fine. It could - IMO - be a very worthwhile endevour.

But if you are going into it with the notion that this person is your true love for all time that is your perfect mate that you will never stray from in both body AND SPIRIT for the rest of your life no matter how many women you meet?
If the latter is your hope for your marriage, then I have one piece of advice for you:

pre nup.

Actually, that advice applies to both people in this example.

 

[mongo18]

It's not necessarily about saying you found the one and only perfect woman. It's about finding someone you're happy enough with to commit to. I know full well that there have been girls in my past I could have happily spent my life with other than my wife, and have met such girls since marrying her, but I'm not spending my life with those girls, I'm spending my life with my wife. I see girls every day that I'd love to bone if I was single, but I'm not, I made a commitment. THAT is what it's about.

 

[McRocket]

It's not necessarily about saying you found the one and only perfect woman. It's about finding someone you're happy enough with to commit to. I know full well that there have been girls in my past I could have happily spent my life with other than my wife, and have met such girls since marrying her, but I'm not spending my life with those girls, I'm spending my life with my wife. I see girls every day that I'd love to bone if I was single, but I'm not, I made a commitment. THAT is what it's about.

It's not about 'boning'. I am not talking about someone who looks sexier. I am talking about emotional, spiritual and intellectual compatibility.

Assuming commitment means more to you then sex, then how are you going to feel if you end up meeting and getting to know someone who likes you and is single that you feel you are more compatible with then your wife on a deep level? How is your wife going to feel if she finds out?

I have no doubt that many of you out there settle for someone and call it a commitment. Fine.
I, for one, hold out a higher goal for my relationships with the opposite sex then staying with someone simply because I have committed to them and now there is a bond because of all that we shared.
The minute I feel that either her or I can find someone whom either (or both) is significantly more compatible with - then that is the minute I wish our relationship to end.
If I truly love her, then I should wish her to find the closest thing to true love that she can. And the minute I realize that it cannot be with me, then if I truly care about her; then I owe it to her to end it as fast and honourably as possible.

Maybe you people wish to compromise your ideals just so you are not alone. I am not. To me, that is the first step to dieing inside. Once you compromise the heart, you begin to compromise the joy that life can be. And why? For fear.

I have never been more unhappy then when I was with the wrong person.

 

[senob44]

^^^I 100% agree with you McRocket. Well put. In fact there is only one thing I would change.

.....To me, that is the first step to dying inside.....

Seriously though, that whole post took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[Iamforever]

^^^I 100% agree with you McRocket.

i dont. i didnt settle.

 

[senob44]

i dont. i didnt settle.

I took what he said to mean that he doesn't agree with settling.

Maybe you people wish to compromise your ideals just so you are not alone. I am not.

That's not settling!